The 2001 Strato Draft Review

 

The following is a lighthearted review of the 2001 Strato draft. This is for entertainment purposes only. Every team gets equally ribbed on, although some of you guys pulled more bone-head picks then others!!

 

 

 

 

The 7 Commandments of Drafting

 

1.     Thou shall not draft lefty relievers who only shut down lefty batters… There are virtually no lefties who can hit lefties.

 

2.     After 3 years of being labeled “a prospect”, he is no longer a prospect… he simply SUCKS!!

 

3.     Thou shall try to keep at least one starting pitcher in your “keepers”, unless you want Irabu as your ace.

 

4.     Keeping a reliever going into the draft is like having sex with a fat girl... it can be fun until the other managers see you with it. —that’s not good!!

 

5.     Just because you have a bunch of draft picks doesn’t mean you know what to do with them.

 

6.     If you make a trade for someone…at least keep him… or expect to be laughed at around the league.

 

7.     Don’t give away draft picks like water… Unless you enjoy getting slapped around like a rented mule every year.

 

 

Just a few quick thoughts….  The draft basically went well, with some surprises as always. Joe did another great job coordinating everything… I, still, can’t even begin to fathom how he manages to announce draft positions, sort players, announce available picks, and draft for his own team…. It’s simply amazing. Now, onto the first team!

 

 

Acadiana Mud Puppies

 

 

 

 

Scott Williamson                        One of Cinci’s better relievers                                                 

Mike Williams                        That +9 hold makes Edgar Martinez drool 

David Wells                        Lefty # 1 stuck on that sorry team in Canada

John Vander Wal      Put up huge numbers then Pittsburgh signs Derek Bell—go figure

Mike Sweeney                        Definitely living up to his potential

John Rocker                        More of a threat to world peace then Middle East terrorists.

Joe Randa      Will never be confused with those other really great KC 3b baseman

Jim Parque                        Lefty # 2

Paul O'Neill                        Another singles hitter… one of the few lefties who hit lefties  

Jeff Nelson                        His world series ring collection stopped when he was traded

Mike Myers                        The Spy Who Shagged Me??

Damian Miller                        Who Cares?!!

Fred McGriff                        The only crime here is drafting his sorry card!!

Ray Lankford                        Maybe one more good year left out of that old body

Chuck Knoblauch      He gets to it…. And the throw sails into the stands hitting Keith Olberman’s mom of all people.. Talk about bad press!

Mike James                        How he has a 3.19 ERA with that card defies logic

Jason Isringhausen                        I have to believe I could save games too given 5 run leads

Todd Hundley                        Came off the pine to put together some decent numbers

Glenallen Hill                        Babe Ruth in August, Damian Miller this spring

Pat Hentgen                        He witnesses a miracle every time he cashes his check         

Tom Goodwin                        All speed no bat

Shawn Estes                        Lefty # 3            

Bobby Estalella                        Supposed to be good

Darin Erstad                        Like a 16 year old… he shot his wad early

Deivi Cruz                        Finally a good season… looks to improve on those #’s

Roger Clemens                        Some guys can throw into their 40’s

Juan Castro                        Can we draft Cuban’s Joe?

Bret Boone                        He can’t hit, run, or field…. So why draft him??

Dante Bichette                        I hope he’s your DH because he can’t catch a cold in right

Rod Beck                        Surprisingly good card

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ann Arbor Avengers

 

 

 

 

Randy Wolf                        Batters tagged this “protected species” all year 

Chris Truby                        Who the hell is this guy??

Brian Tolberg      When your fastball tops out at 89, your career doesn’t look too promising

Chuck Smith                        A 31 yr. Old rookie---Even sounds like a fake name.

David Segui                        Everyone needs a first baseman who hits 19 homers.

Mike Remlinger                        Does he still have that twitching disorder??

Neifi Perez                        Didn’t she pose for Playboy?

Jose Paniagua                        Meeting your Latin quota Bob?

Trot Nixon                        Pulled a Houdini last year.

Ben Molina                        A solid catching prospect

Gil Meche                        You stole him just before me again!!

Mark McGwire                        I bet you wish he batted 300 more times last year

Greg Maddux                        Different year same Greg.

Ryan Klesko                        Good pick-up

Chipper Jones                        Like this team needs anymore power!

Geoff Jenkins                        Could be a strato god but never saw a pitch he didn’t like

Bob Howry                        Waiting for lefties              

Gil Heredia                        2 Gils on one team and you still tread water every year??  haha

Jason Grimsley                        What direction are you going in with this shit bag pick?!!

Wiki Gonzalez                        You can never have enough guys who batted sub .240                         

Juan Gonzalez                        Hello Cleveland… Goodbye Comerica Park

Alex S. Gonzalez                        Like he’ll see any playing time behind Neifi Perez.

Kelvim Escobar                        Why draft him? You already met your Latino quota

Octavio Dotel                        Will get slapped around like a trailer park wife in your stadium

Johnny Damon                        If he had more power he’d be a Strato God

Jason Christiansen                        A lefty with an ERA over 5.00 …. Yeah he’ll play alot

Jeromy Burnitz                        Next year he’ll be much better

Mike Benjamin      Unfortunately, the fans in Pittsburgh are still waiting for a competitive team to root for.

Rick Ankiel                        Why draft a lefty starter??   

Roberto Alomar                        Sooooo much better then his brother sandy!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ansbach Angels

 

 

 

 

 

Jamey Wright                        Are we allowed to draft girls Joe??

Woody Williams                        What a slap in the face, he goes from one Steve to another.

Gary Sheffield                        Always has a great strato card

Felix Rodriguez                        Came out of the closet last month                                      

Britt Reames                        Begging for relievers at this point

Carl Pavano      Montreal’s payment for Pedro….Someone got fired over that trade. I’ll guarantee that!!

Chan Ho Park                        Every other year he has a good strato card.

Alex Ochoa                        Might be good if the Red’s ever gave him a chance

Mitch Meluskey                        The only thing that reminds me of piazza is that +1 arm

Matt Mantei                        Have to love that +9 hold

Mike Lowell                        When I had him he sucked, when you have him he’s great.

Derrek Lee                        Mr. Nobody from Florida

Carlos Lee                        Derek’s brother?

Chad Kreuter                        Should have stayed with Freddy in the Elm Street sequels

Todd Hollandsworth                        Once upon a time…. He had potential..

Roberto Hernandez                        Solid closer

Felix Heredia                        Another banana farmer turned pro baseball player

Shigetoshi Hasegawa                        Imagine spelling this name in kindergarten

Brian S. Giles                        He’s good

Nomar Garciaparra                        Wayyy too good a guy to be on Steve’s team

Keith Foulke                        One of the best relievers

Cliff Floyd                        His card should have been better then what it is

Cal Eldred                        He’s no Ripken

Jeff D'Amico                        You’ll be thanking me for taking him instead of Alou later

Matt Clement      Another one of my guys you said sucked but mysteriously he’s on your team!!

Tony Clark      You can go back 50 years and never find one good Clark who played first base

Luis Castillo                        How did he fall into your team?

Ken Caminiti                        Great card but only 220 AB’s

Geoff Blum                        Who the hell is this asshole?

Moises Alou                        Good card… makes Canseco look like a superstar fielder

 

 

 

 

 

Brooklyn Bombers

 

 

 

 

 

Ryan Vogelsong                        Just the beginning of a sad, sad drafting day for Rich

Jeff Tam                        Waiting for righties

Sammy Sosa                        Will make a run at 70 this year!!

Bill Simas                        Where do you find these guys??

Dan Reichert                        Got slapped around like a rented mule, but you still drafted him

Hipolito Pichardo                        Meeting your Latin quota too?

Vicente Padilla                        Now you’re exceeding your Latin Quota

John Olerud                        .400 only in his wet dreams now

Robb Nen                        Will pitch until his arm falls off on this team

Brian Moehler                        Considering what was available… he’s not bad

Jim Mecir                        Good Pick

Julio Lugo                        Just because he’s young doesn’t make him worth taking

Javy Lopez                        Used to be an animal

Jon Lieber                        Has one of the better starting cards in the set

Damian Jackson                        4e40 at short—should see a lot of playing time!!

Ben Grieve                        Shows flashes of brilliance

Shawn Green                        Hurts to keep him but you had to

Tom Glavine                        Something about our division loves to draft lefties

Troy Glaus                        Waiting for Leiter

Jeff Frye                        Have another beer Rich!!

Chuck Finley                        Lefty # 2

Elmer Dessens                        Still chasing around bugs

Delino Deshields                        De SUCK!!

Ron Coomer      How do you get “N” power when you only hit 16 homers in 544 AB’s

Frank Catalanotto                        Makes a mean spaghetti dish

Mike Bordick                        Over stayed his league welcome

Andy Benes                        You can find his brother working at Arby’s in St. Louis

Brad Ausmus                        He sounds like a disease

Kevin Appier                        In 33 years he hasn’t learned how to shut down lefties

Garret Anderson                        Another Steve to Steve trade

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Georgia Grey Hounds

 

 

 

 

 

Preston Wilson                        He must like the Florida beaches, because he gets no press

Rondell White                        The Great White??…. Just another fish in the ocean this year

Omar Vizquel                        Can field barehanded

Todd Van Poppel                        Actually looked good in rd 4… how scary is that?!!

Steve Trachsel                        Coming to a toll booth near you

Mariano Rivera                        A-u-t-o-m-a-t-i-c

Chris Richard                        You must have needed a shovel to dig this guy up

Jorge Posada                        He’s a Yankee…. I can’t rib on him

Andy Pettitte                        See the above comment

Lance Painter                        This team is going south faster then a Lear jet

Magglio Ordonez                        Finally a Strato Stud                

Denny Neagle                        If you draft one more lefty I’ll scream            

Terry Mulholland                        AAAAAUGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Ramiro Mendoza                        The yanks ride him like a rented mule

Kerry Ligtenberg                        If he did his job Rocker would still be in the minors!!

Darren Lewis                        Manny’s defensive replacement in the 9th

Paul Konerko                        It took a while but Paulie finally came to life

Doug Jones                        You know he’s bad if the fantasy books don’t list him

Richard Hidalgo                        A Monster!!!

Carlos Febles                        Every year he finds his way onto your team

Ray Durham                        SUCKS

J.D. Drew                        It’s this year or never

Ryan Dempster                        Nice first pick!!

Steve Cox                        What were you thinking when you typed in his name??           

Bruce Chen                        Different team… lower ERA

Sean Casey                        Last year was the “sophomore jinx” syndrome

Scott Brosius                        Shot his wad in the world series 2 years ago

Henry Blanco                        Maybe a good pickup

Adrian Beltre                        Him and El Dukie don’t even know their own age… hhmmm

Antonio Alfonseca                        If I saw 6 fingers on each hand of his... I’d freak out too!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grass Lake Oily Otters

 

 

 

 

 

Gregg Zaun                        Rubber band arm

Kerry Wood                        Has 2 pitches… the fastball, and the really fastball

Paul Wilson                        I guess he must be a prospect

Enrique Wilson                        So why draft his brother too?

Matt Williams                        The giants pulled out just in time

Bob Wickman                        It’s that ½ index fingers that makes the ball jump around

Larry Walker                        He’ll be the old walker next year

Jose Vidro                        Like you need another stud player!!

Scott Strickland                        Waiting for Righties

Todd Ritchie                        In your ballpark his ERA will skyrocket

Manny Ramirez                        A FUCKING ANIMAL!!

Ben Petrick                        Tough choice…. Johnson or petrick!!

Robert Person                        How did he end up on your team?

Mike Mussina                        Thank god the good guys (Yanks) got him

Matt Morris                        If healthy… he’s a stud

Kevin Millwood                        Japan is becoming a realistic choice for him right now

Kevin Millar                        How are those Budweiser’s going down?!!

Chuck McElroy                        Was lit up more then Marlboro’s last year

Albie Lopez                        Pitching in that stadium is useless

Charles Johnson                        A career year

Jose Jimenez                        How he only gave up 4 homers in Colorado is a miracle

Cristian Guzman                        Not to be confused with his brother Juan who also sucks

Buddy Groom                        It’s great to see guys get desperate in the draft

Ken Griffey Jr.                        When “the kid” stumbles… most mortals call that a career year

John Franco      He’s the only guy to be collecting salary and social security checks every week.

Greg Colbrunn      All his life he hits only lefties. Now he suddenly hit only righties… go figure!!

Will Clark                        If St. Louis had a DH he’d still be playing

Roger Cedeno                        Rickey Henderson Jr.

Chris Carpenter      Will get whip-lash from watching all those homers fly out of the park in right 

Brady Anderson                        He’s as washed up as San Fran driftwood

 

 

 

 

 

 

Indianapolis Arrows

 

 

 

 

 

Greg Vaughn                        Not to be confused with Greg Zaun who also sucks!!

Brett Tomko                        His starting days are in the past

Jim Thome                        Was much more valuable when he played third

Anthony Telford                        Actually a good pick

Justin Speier                        Where did you find this asshole?

Mike Sirotka                        The best lefty out there

Terry Shumpert                        He’s old and he can’t hit or field.. why bother drafting him?

Richie Sexson                        All or nothing

Kazuhiro Sasaki      What’s up with the Japanese pitchers…. They can never hold baserunners

Benito Santiago                        You’ll need him with Sasaki pitches

Jesus Sanchez                        Rumored to have turned water into wine

Kirk Rueter                        Another lefty—You’ll learn

Pokey Reese                        Back to the batting cage Pokey!!

Brad Radke                        Good Starter

Brad Penny                        We’ll accept his shitty card… he’s a prospect

Rafael Palmeiro                        Finally has some protection in that lineup

Jose Offerman                        Another guy who can’t hit or field—what were you thinking?

Corey Koskie      I was sorry to have to part with him…. He has 30 homer potential

Byung-Hyun Kim                        Who Flung Dung??

Gabe Kapler                        A rising star

Andruw Jones                        How did you end up with him?

Derek Jeter                        An ANIMAL!!! Go Yankees

Tim Hudson                        Another Animal

Bobby Higginson                        Good first round choice

Ramon Hernandez                        How many catchers do you need?

Brook Fordyce                        Are you in the Twlight zone

Eric Davis                        Waiting for lefties

Rheal Cormier                        Another useless lefty who shuts down lefties

Aaron Boone                        Wasn’t even rated by other managers

Brian Bohanon                        Another lefty … my head hurts!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Liverpool Fanatics

 

 

 

 

 

Dmitri Young                        We’ll have to surgically remove him from Paul’s team

Jeff Weaver                        May have real potential

Robin Ventura                        Didn’t even hit his weight last year                

Miguel Tejada                        A Future Stud

B.J. Surhoff                        With a name like BJ, you must be a Fudge Packer

Scott Sullivan                        Not too bad.

J.T. Snow                        The one lefty on this team!

Sidney Ponson                        One day he’s Pedro Martinez, the next he’s Pedro Astacio

Mike Piazza      Just when you think he can’t get any worse…. He’s saddled with the  +3 arm

Mike Mordecai                        Waiting for Steve’s rotation

Wade Miller                        A prospect

Jose Mercedes                        If he keeps pitching like that he’ll be driving a Yugo.

Mike Matheny                        He better be your full time catcher with piazza’s +3 arm

Jason Marquis                        A good sleeper

Terrence Long                        If he used his shades the yanks lose game 5 and never make it t                        to the series.

Steve Kline                        ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…………..

David Justice                        Wow… what a trade GIFT

Torii Hunter                        First you’re chasing girls, now you’re drafting them.

Bill Haselman                        I see those Corona’s are going down real easy

Vladimir Guerrero                        ANIMAL!!

Danny Graves                        Why keep a reliever when there’s plenty out there??

Carl Everett                        Albert Belle in training

Juan Encarnacion                        Are we allowed to draft from the Puerto Rican Leagues?

Scott Elarton                        OVER-RATED

Damion Easley                        That’s a big drop from Biggio to Easley

Mike Cameron                        Where is this guy going to play??

Kevin Brown                        Annual STUD!!

David Bell                        What were you thinking when you typed in his name?

Tony Armas Jr.                        Finally a good pitching prospect          

Terry Adams      For the moment I thought I saw the light in your eyes….. then I realized it was coming from the back of your head

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Long Island Rockers

 

 

 

 

 

Kelly Wunsch                        Keep Digging Watson!!

Turk Wendell                        Those bones around his neck didn’t bring him any luck

Kevin Walker                        The best lefty reliever out there

Aaron Sele      Sele, Serta, or Simmons… doesn’t matter because it’s real easy to fall asleep when he’s pitching

Scott Rolen                        He has soo much potential

Bryan Rekar                        Not too shabby!!          

Adam Piatt                        150 AB’s…. why draft him?

Keith Osik                        123 AB’s…. why draft him?

Ramon Ortiz                        Was lit up like a Christmas tree last year

Ramon E. Martinez                        This guy is as useful as a used condem!!

Terrell Lowery                        34 AB’s…. why draft him?

Billy Koch                        Finally a quality reliever

Jason Kendall                        Next year will be his coming out party!

Denny Hocking                        You’re in love with that –2 arm

Livan Hernandez                        No El Dukie

Doug Henry      Walked 49 guys in 78 innings….. Matt Clement thinks that’s funny

Todd Helton                        ANIMAL

Jeffrey Hammonds                        He hit 20 homers in Colorado …back to the weight room Jeff

Ricky Gutierrez                        ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz………….    

Rich Garces                        Have to love that +7 hold

Jermaine Dye                        ANIMAL       

Jose Cruz                        He might be the real deal this year

Chris Brock                        You are really groping for straws with this shit pick

Willie Blair                        Best days are 10 years behind him

Craig Biggio                        Good late round selection

Danny Bautista                        You’re in love with that –2 arm

Tony Batista                        STEVE—Why trade for him and then not retain him????

Rich Aurilia                        STONEHANDS!!!

Juan Acevedo                        Not bad

Paul Abbott                        Safeco saves his career!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mexican Bandits

 

 

 

 

 

Barry Zito                        OKAY—he’s a lefty—but I had to take him in rd 14

Julian Tavarez                        Hoping he pitches better then his face looks

Mike Stanton                        A spot lefty reliever

Steve W. Sparks                        That selection brought to you by Guiness Draft

Ivan Rodriguez                        The guys an animal!!

Alex Rodriguez                        See the above statement

Rick Reed                        Has more diamonds on his card then a jeweler

David Ortiz                        Waiting for lefties

Pedro Martinez                        Move over CY Young

Matt Herges                        My only good reliever

Latroy Hawkins                        My only closer

Pete Harnisch                        How did he slip past everyone until round 19?

Luis Gonzalez                        Wanted Vazquez or dempster… but settled for him

Mark Gardner                        Pedro, Colon, Gardner….. Which one doesn’t fit?

Ron Gant                        Colorado Here We Come!!

Osvaldo Fernandez                        One of 12 Starters… Is that a Strato Drafting record Joe???

Tony Eusebio                        Ivan then Eusebio… what a jump!!

Jim Edmonds                        Lucky late pick from last year

Adam Eaton                        Potential Stud

Chad Curtis                        SUCKS

Bartolo Colon                        Lose some weight you FAT TOAD!!

Eric Chavez                        36 homers this year??

Pat Burrell                        Yep, I’m getting drowsy

Bobby Bonilla                        Ah Shit, I’ve fallen into a coma with this crappy pick

Lance Berkman                        Has Potential

Rob Bell                        Will never see the mound this year… he’ll LIVE in the minors

Jeff Bagwell                        Thanks Steve!!

Luis Alicea      Traded Mateo for this slob, it’s called “I have no backup second baseman

Edgardo Alfonzo                        Happy Days is on the comeback trail

Bobby Abreu                        Back to the weight room Bobby

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pensacola Sand Dollars

 

 

 

 

 

Fernando Vina                        Part one of  1-2 punch

Quilvio Veras                        Part two of the 1-2 punch

Javier Vazquez                        WOW… Nice Pick Rob!!

Greg Swindell                        this is where Rob falls asleep at the wheel

Makoto Suzuki                        +7 hold makes Piazza look like Henderson on the bases

Chris Stynes                        Another good back up

Bill Spiers                        Plays drunk at every position

Jeff Shaw                        Holding onto him for the Glory Days??  

Curt Schilling                        Pitching is key….. you’re learning Grasshopper

Rey Sanchez      I don’t know what’s funnier… the fact that you picked him in the third round… or that you’re proud you got him so late

Jimmy Rollins                        This skinny kid will be the Philly’s future shortstop

Mark Quinn                        Surely you had somebody better to keep then this!!

Steve Parris                        Quite a jump from Shilling to Parris

Tomokazu Ohka                        Prospect

Doug Mirabelli                        That’s what we were laughing at when you typed in his name

Dave Martinez                        Anyways finds his way onto some desperate team

Derek Lowe                        A good reliever

Esteban Loaiza                        Average outing is 3 innings… way to go!!

Matt Lawton                        Rob thinks he’s the best player in the draft….Steve agrees!!

Stan Javier                        Dave Martinez Jr. …..all defense and no bat

Aubrey Huff                        You’re really getting desperate with this shit pick… 122 AB’s?

Rick Helling                        I’d like to hit with Hellings card… He would be me DH

Jason Giambi                        You’re welcome!!

Andres Galarraga                        The big cat lasted very late in the draft… nice job

Darrin Fletcher                        How does a career .280 hitter all the sudden bat .320??

Steve Finley                        ANIMAL       

Jeff Fassero                        We love those lefties!!

Jeff Cirillo      He hits 11 homeruns at coors in 600 ab’s….back to the weightroom Jeff!!     

Frank Castillo                        The Ace in this rotation!!

Benny Agbayani      His card says he plays the outfield but everyone knows he can’t play anywhere!!

 

 

 

 

 

Salt Lake Brine Shrimp

 

 

 

 

 

\Eric Young      For 6 million a year…. He should get to everything hit in hid direction     

Tim Worrell                        4-5 automatic homer!!

Bernie Williams                        The better of the Abreu/Willians trade

Bob Wells      6-5 automatic homer. Can you say “whiplash” watching them go out of the park!!

Jarrod Washburn                        A future star.. and the Angels need him

Donne Wall                        Good Pick!!

Tim Wakefield      You’d think the rest of the baseball world would finally catch up to his 32 MPH pitches… but they never do

Mo Vaughn                        Goodbye 2001!!! ……“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”

Jose Valentin      You should be publicly spanked for drafting him… 40+ errors at short is in reach with his card!!

Garrett Stephenson                        5-8 automatic homer!!

Joe Slusarski                        A “Hal” pick

Jay Payton                        At least the Mets love him

Dean Palmer                        How old is this guy??!!

Jose Ortiz                        Your future secondbaseman

Raul Mondesi                        Rob should have kept him !!

Brent Mayne                        At least he can hit for average

Edgar Martinez                        ANIMAL

Al Martin                        Only hits righties

Mark Loretta                        Hopefully he’s your shortstop and not Valentin

Brian Jordan                        I bet you’re happy he didn’t play football!!

Randy Johnson                        ANIMAL…. So much more valuable if he was a righty

Orlando Hernandez                        When he remembers his own age… let us all know!!

Eric Gagne                        Wild youngster… when he’s in control.. he’s in the elite

Mike Fyhrie                        You’re digging deep to get this crappy guy

Travis Fryman                        He shot his wad this year

Craig Counsell                        Will he ever play a full season

Albert Belle                        Will never play again… rumored to be dating Hanna Storm

Jay Bell                        Still milking that one good year

Rolando Arrojo                        Everyone always drafts him… and he BLOWS!!

Sandy Alomar Jr.                        Gives Robbie a bad name

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tennessee Thunder

 

 

 

 

 

Dave Weathers                        Might have been a good pick!!

Frank Thomas                        Big Hurt…. Big Deal!!

Jeff Suppan                        Has a budding career in vacuum sales

Lee Stevens                        He really isn’t very good

Luis Sojo                        Another guy who should be put out to the pasture

Scott Sauerbeck                        Another useless lefty who only shuts down lefties

Tim Salmon                        The fish always has a good card

Kenny Rogers                        BIG GAMBLE, ..But should have known when to fold em’

Antonio Osuna                        Not too shabby

Joe Oliver                        Why would you draft him??

Bill Mueller                        A third baseman with ZERO power—can’t get enough of those

Melvin Mora                        He can’t hit… but can at least field

Eric Milton                        Power lefty starter

Ruben Mateo                        You’re welcome

Kenny Lofton                        WOW…. Nice pick up

Mike Lieberthal                        Too good to be on your team  :D

Darryl Kile                        Aging wonder given new life with St. Louis

Jeff Kent                        ANIMAL

Eric Karros                        Homer or Strikeout… someone like Kingman ring a bell?

Jacque Jones                        It’s hard to become known when you’re a twinkie

Chris Holt                        Good thing you have osuna

Doug Glanville                        Maybe this year he actually earns that paycheck

Rafael Furcal                        Great pick

John Flaherty                        Call 9-1-1 he having a brain freeze              

Mike Fetters                        Get the medics over here… try the cattle prod to revive him!!

Darren Dreifort                        Hey it worked!!

Vic Darensbourg      You must have puked when you saw that guy on your roster the next day

Jeff Conine                        First stop AAA, next stop Japan

Barry Bonds                        Hall-o-famer

Armando Benitez                        Will be earning his paycheck on this team

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waxhaw Knights

 

 

 

 

 

Dave Veres                        Steve you’re starting out strong!!

Jason Varitek                        Has potential

Ugueth Urbina      the guys has 13 innings…. He could be in the minors before the first week is done!!

Michael Tucker                        5e71 at second… do the charts even go that high?!!

Fernando Tatis                        Hold onto him steve…. Don’t trade him!

Kevin Tapani                        LOSER

Arthur Rhodes                        Lefty # 1

Edgar Renteria      from Rey Ordonez to Renteria (both e31’s) they get to it.. and the throw  sails into the bleachers 

Herbert Perry                        Doesn’t he make ice cream?

Orlando Palmeiro                        The only guy in the majors who didn’t hit a single home run

Dan Miceli                        Actually like his card

Al Leiter                        Lefty # 2

Mark Kotsay      When your right fielder hits less home runs then Paul Oneill….. you know you’re in for a long season

Steve Karsay                        Another decent reliever

Brian L. Hunter                        Great fielder… shitty hitter

Trevor Hoffman                        Steve. You’re on fire!!

Dustin Hermanson                        a good late round pickup

Mike Hampton                        Lefty # 3

Mark Grudzielanek                        Can’t field or hit

Rusty Greer                        Getting worse every year

Mark Grace                        A first baseman with no power

Brad Fullmer                        Don’t trade him steve… Hold onto him

Einar Diaz                        Go back to Mexico.. YOU SUCK

Tim Crabtree                        Have another beer

Alex Cora                        You know we were all laughing at this pick!!

Jose Canseco                        Still fantasizes about Madonna on the road

Dave Burba                        If he dropped 30 pounds he’d be a 20 game winner

Adrian Brown                        Not bad Steve

Ron Belliard                        Where did this crappy pick come from?

Andy Ashby                        Stop throwing fastballs and you’ll give up less homers

 

 

 

 

 

Weisbaden Vikings

 

 

 

 

 

Tony Womack                        Joe’s drooling over the stolen bases

Rick White                        Who is this guy?

Gabe White                        Just draft the entire family Joe!

Todd Walker                        Colorado here we come!!

Shannon Stewart                        WOW….was that Joe’s pick??

Paul Shuey                        These are the crappy picks we’re all used to seeing

Jose Santiago                        Does he sing Soprano?

Olmedo Saenz                        Great backup

Glendon Rusch                        NOT a first round pick Joe!!!

Mike Redmond                        Stinks like dead fish

Mark Redman                        You probably forgot which one you wanted, so you got both

Placido Polanco                        A good late round pickup

Mark Petkovsek                        Joe… you’re dying on us!!

Eric Owens                        Bring in the paramedics. We have no pulse!!

Phil Nevin                        Waiting for Lefties

Curtis Leskanic                        Great pick

Barry Larkin                        Still great after all these years

Adam Kennedy                        Must be a prospect

Todd Jones                        Nice pick

Scott Hatteberg                        How do you sleep at night picking him??

Joe Girardi      Girardi makes Hatteberg look like an amateur….. and that’s NOT saying much

Freddy Garcia                        Only pitches well in Safeco

Carlos Delgado                        Joe—you’re building a good team here

Ellis Burks                        WOW… 2 good one’s

Jay Buhner      In 96’ he hit 52 homers for me.. Joe would be lucky to get 7 out of that card

Russ Branyan                        Big guy… big stick

Kris Benson                        ANIMAL

Marvin Benard                        All defense.. nothing else

James Baldwin                        Should have stuck to acting

Brian Anderson                        You do love those lefties

 

 

That’s my story folks…… and I’m sticking to it!!